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Old 04-09-2012, 05:35 AM   #41
Fe26
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Default Re: joke of the day.

X2 on the big boy pants!

The silent majority lose when power is exercised in deference to a few.
Knee jerk reactions are often the result of the indiscriminate use of power, with out those weilding the power taking the time to let things settle down, or more wisely, stepping in with a Moderators voice and steering the dispute to a reasonable conclusion.

All that happens when people are treated with disrespect and high-handedness is; people will find other means to share their wit and humour. Many a censor has despaired when the tighter they grasp a handful of sand, the faster it falls through their fingers.

And so we have jokes again, Viva the JOKE and Viva again. This time I think the joke is on the Moderator, as Miss Bette Midler said "F**K 'em if they can't take a joke".
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:45 AM   #42
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Default Re: joke of the day.

While I'm certainly not a fan of censorship in any form, there's a lot to be said that Ryan (if I'm correct here) BOUGHT this place from Shelly and placed a couple of basic rules. Some of the rules include no religious or political stuff.

His Barn, his rules. And hey, it's not like we paid at the door to get in.
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:47 AM   #43
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Default Re: joke of the day.

You want an anything goes site that allows racist, sexist, religious jokes? Go to Chop Cult's joke of the day thread in the Junk Pile section. Ask me how I know
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Old 04-09-2012, 03:49 PM   #44
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Old 04-10-2012, 02:07 AM   #45
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Default Re: joke of the day.

Good one Sonny !!

GB
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Old 04-10-2012, 08:35 AM   #46
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Default Re: More Jokes of the Day

If you shoot a mime, do you have to use a silencer??
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Old 04-10-2012, 09:07 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TomW View Post
If you shoot a mime, do you have to use a silencer??
No. Just point at them, pull your thumb back andpull the invisible trigger. They'll go down without a sound.
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Old 04-10-2012, 03:17 PM   #48
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She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still........................ :-)
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Old 04-13-2012, 02:57 PM   #49
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Default Re: More Jokes of the Day

A guy goes to the doctor and the doc examines him for constipation, and
gives him a prescription for 2 suppositories.

“Use two of these today and come back in three days”, said the doctor.

After three days, the guy returns and the doctor says, “Well, how did that medicine I prescribed work for you ?”

The guy says, “Doc, i ATE all 3 of them damn suppositories, and they
didn't do any good at all, I coulda just as well shoved ‘em up my butt!”










.
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Old 04-14-2012, 11:58 PM   #50
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A farmer had 5 female pigs.
Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell
them.

At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs.
After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything
50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles apart, so they agreed to drive thirty miles
each
and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.

The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded
the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only vehicle he had)
and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if
they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied,"If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning,
they're pregnant. If

they're in the mud, they're not."

The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud, so he hosed them off,
loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.
This continued each morning for more than a week and both farmers were worn
out.

The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed.
He called to his wife,"Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the
pigs are in the mud or in the grass."
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is
honking the horn."
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Old 04-15-2012, 02:16 PM   #51
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Default Re: More Jokes of the Day

Ya know why a Dog lifts his leg to pee ?


Throws his ass outta gear so he don't shit
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Old 04-15-2012, 02:52 PM   #52
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Default Re: More Jokes of the Day

Why do elephants have a yellow leg?
'cause they can't lift it as high as a dog can.

Why is Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Because her dog is blind too.
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Old 04-15-2012, 03:18 PM   #53
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Default Re: More Jokes of the Day

Little Johnnie runs into the classroom and yells
teacher, teacher, my dogs ass just got run over.

The teacher says, Johnnie, you should say rectum !!!

Johnnie yells, rectum ? wrecked 'em ?
Hell it killed him !










.
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I live in the last house on the block !!!
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So What, if She tells me which ones to wear ?

Last edited by Lanny; 04-15-2012 at 05:22 PM.
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Old 04-16-2012, 09:53 AM   #54
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Default Re: More Jokes of the Day

This is No joke, but good for a Smile,
http://www.wimp.com/dancingjive/
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:17 PM   #55
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Default Re: joke of the day.

http://mail.aol.com/35919-211/aol-6/...n_this_way.wmv
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:34 PM   #56
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http://mail.aol.com/35919-211/aol-6/...striptease.wmv
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Old 04-16-2012, 06:10 PM   #57
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Default Re: More Jokes of the Day

From the other side

WANDA: Hey Sylvia! How'd you die?

SYLVIA: I freakin' froze to death.

WANDA: How horrible!

SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack.
I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself
in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA: So, what happened?

WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running
all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
until I had looked everywhere, and finally
I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer
---we'd both still be alive.
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Old 04-17-2012, 07:45 AM   #58
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Default Re: More Jokes of the Day

Did you ever wonder...

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
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Old 04-17-2012, 08:44 AM   #59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TomW View Post
Did you ever wonder...

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?

And
How does a Blind Man know when he's done wiping ?
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Old 04-17-2012, 05:05 PM   #60
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