Advice for a New Father

[40fordpu]

Hey guys. I am a new father at the ripe old age of 30. My first and it is a boy. He is 6 months but what I have found is that my hobby, has gone been put aside. Slowly starting to get back into it. What is your advice for a guy like me? I love the hobby but time is limited. How do you guys/dads do it?
Thanks

[Walt Dupont--Me.]

Wate till the kids grow up and get out of the house. Or get him interested in the hobby at a very esarly age. Walt

[Fordors]

Patience is a virtue. Your time will come as your son ages, but realize that he may or may not follow your passions. You are into cars and he might be into music, maybe you like football and he might prefer to play chess someday. Raise him to be the best young man he can be, spend time with him like any other good dad and eventually you'll find the time to be out in the shop. They are only young once.

[mtflat]

Congrats!! Kids are the best investment you'll ever have. But, as as they get older you'll have more time and less $$ for projects. My youngest was 15 and the two oldest out of the house before I had a little time and money for projects.

I have been blessed with three awesome kids who are worth every penny spent and every moment invested. I can't say that about my vehicle projects : )

[Torchie]

Originally Posted by Fordors

Patience is a virtue. Your time will come as your son ages, but realize that he may or may not follow your passions. You are into cars and he might be into music, maybe you like football and he might prefer to play chess someday. Raise him to be the best young man he can be, spend time with him like any other good dad and eventually you'll find the time to be out in the shop. They are only young once.

Very sound advice. Going into something always looks like it will take forever but looking back you will see just how time does fly. Sooner than you can imagine the kids are grown and off on their own. Enjoy the now.

[jkeesey]

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As a father or 2 so far and the 3rd any day now I know how you feel. Im only 24 and have learned once the kids get older they generally want to be with you and are interested in what your doing. once he can walk (within the next year) get a little beat up pedal car and put it near your antique. He will want to be with you in the garage every minute doing the same thing Daddys doing.

[peewee2you]

I concur, with all those before me. I too was a young stepfather at age 22, and my love and hobby was cars, but I always new that if my family needed something and it was a choice between them and my cars, I would part with them. That being said that time never came that I would have to part with them, but for many years they sat, and didn't get worked on, because after having children, then needed a house, then working on the house, still while clothing and feeding the family, and so some 35yrs later, I now have many projects to work on in my retirement, and the same vehicles are with me.. it's lay and wait and your time will come, but part with them only if need be and no other way out, they are just metal and will always be there later. Best of luck to you and your family, happy holidays and good health, remember that stuff is just stuff, and if you have no one to share it with or have fun with it, then truly what good is it just to say you have it and it's worth something. Just my thoughts....

[CT AV8]

My advice is to do with him whatever he wants to do. If it leads back to the car hobby, then so be it. If he loves stick and ball sports, then do that. I had a few cars/projects and when my son was 6 he wanted to race karts. So we sold all our car stuff and bought a kart and a trailer. Then we got a bigger truck, bigger trailer, more karts, engines, tires, etc. and next thing you know, he's 15. We'd had fun and some success but then decided to sell out and took that money to build a hot rod which took a few years. My son's first love since he was 4 was motorcycles. He built a few chopper bikes and a Briggs powered chopper with one of our kart engines when he was around 11,12 years old. So we sold off some of our Early Ford stuff and bought an old Ironhead. Now he's 21 and building and restoring old bikes and I help out chasing down parts, etc, so we're still working together. Bikes are great....you can have a lot more of them because they don't take up much room...lol.
I consider myself lucky. I've been getting my hands dirty with my son for 15 years. But in the end, you have to do what they love doing. It goes by real fast.

[Russ/40]

Never deny time for him, for the sake of a garage project you cant keep your hands off of.
You'll still have time for the cars, it'll just take a lot longer to get things done. I can't go back and do it over. But, you can avoid the mistake up front. I'm amazed someone actually asked the question. A very intelligent one, and one appropriate for the time.

[Chris in MA]

Congrats on the new baby!

I am raising two boys, ages six and eight by myself at age 41. Enjoy your time with the kids. The car has been around for 70 plus years, its not going anywhere. Kids dont stay kids forever.
Once they get a little older, you will find a balance, they might enjoy things such as going for ice cream in the old car and just rides in general or maybe just ice cream... My two think its 'cool'

Occaisionally, you might get to, um... go out for milk in your car... Just dont forget to bring back an ice cream or treat for Mom.

Chris

[Rowdy]

There is nothing like raising kids. My wife and I have 3 girls, the oldest 2 are out on their own in the world and have given us 2 grandsons so far. Never take the time you spend with them for grantit as the time will come when their lives are busy too. If you take the time for them while growing up they will have time for you and respect you when they are adaults.


Also to add. Most of you know alittle over a year ago our youngest (13 at the time) became seriously ill. She spent abit over 3 weeks in ICU at Childrens Hospital in Omaha and 6 weeks in a rehabilitation hospital immediately following that. There is little in life that compares to the pain of not knowing if they are going to live or die and it is all out of your hands, all you can do is watch and pray. Cherrish every moment you have with them. Rod

[Butch11443]

Enjoy every minute with them. It can't be replaced later. My son's were different, one played football & the other was in the marching band. One is into cars and the other Harley's. Had a lot o0f good years wrenching with both of them
Butch

[Old Henry]

You don't have to put your hobby on hold, just change it! My hobby for the 37 years we were raising our 10 children was my children. Whatever they liked to do I did with them. I occassionally tried some of the solo hobbies like R/C planes or modeling but I soon realized that they were very lonely hobbies without my kids that weren't into that kind of thing. So, I set a goal to drive my family to all 49 of the United States that could be driven to in the 15 passenger van with camping trailer behind and we did. Most fell in love with road trips. Some did not.

The first typical "solo" hobby that I finally got into that all 5 of my boys ages 10-25 loved together was R/C planes. We had 5 matching planes we painted different colors so we could tell them apart in the sky and spent a day a week for at least a couple of years doing that together before they all lost interest and I continued with my daily "therapy" flight for many years after until my 15 year old son (last child) wanted to restore "Old Henry" that had been sitting outside by mom's house for 31 years. The joy we had on 100 days over the next year workng together on that car was beyond description. And, frankly, if he hadn't wanted to restore it, it would never have been restored. It was not something I would do by myself and still don't enjoy working on it by myself as much as I did with him now that he's gone. So, I mostly just drive the wheels off of it now on glorious road trips - some with him and my single daughter, some with wife, some with dog, and some with the "Queen Mothers." (To Death Valley here: https://www.fordbarn.com/forum/showthread.php?t=62705)

As far as I can tell, the vote is unanimous - put your kids and family first. The old car will wait. The family will not. It's a major transition for many from thinking about what they want to do to thinking about what wife and kids want to do and getting joy out of their joy rather than just "my own thing." As an attorney I have divorced many women from men who never made that transition and lived out their lives selfishly thinking of themselves all the time rather than who they should have been thinking about. Something to consider.

In just 30 short years (as far from now as when you were born) you're group could look like this: (two year old picture missing 8 more grandchildren and a son and his wife. The fort in the background is something my two oldest boys and I built over a two year period of time with one rule - if they didn't work on it I didn't work on it. We did it together.)

[NYfatboy]

Old Henry,God has blessed you!

[Henry/Kokomo]

Congratulations on your son. I really can't add anything substantive to what others have already said but I agree wholeheartedly. I've been interested in cars and machinery all my life but didn't get started with antique cars until I was almost 61 years old. Still as much fun as it was when I was 15. I've never heard of anyone having regrets that they spent too much time with their family. Enjoy 'em while you can. Time goes much faster as you get older. Unfortunately, like many others, I know this from experience. Merry Christmas to you and yours! Henry

[peewee2you]

Old Henry, wow that's a beautiful family, nice photo, priceless.

[4tford]

Congrats to you and your wife. My advice is to get yourself a project that you really want. When you have a few extra dollars then use them for parts needed. . When money is short there are hundreds of things to do. As long as working on the project is a "normal family" type thing your son will come to you and the project when he is ready. Just make sure there is something to do that in his mind is helping. Maybe just banging on scrap tin is a start. With luck the three of you will grow up together. Father Son and Project.
My 6 year old Grandson knows the difference between 7/16, 1/2 and 9/16"
I wonder if he will be a good block sander????

[Rand]

I've had my Merc longer then My Family...There's been many a times when it has just sat for years , due to son's Baseball, daugter's horse back ridding lessons and 2 other daugters involvment in gymnastics...something my Uncle (who restores model A's) told me many years ago that has stuck with me is...your time will come. My 2 cents is enjoy your kids they are only young once..right now I'm havng a hard time dealing with my son growing up to darn fast (18) As far as this hobby goes.. The best time I have with it was this past summer helping prep and paint my Son's Ranger, and cant forget when my 8 year old daughter sez..lets go for a ride in the Murkery Popa! She love's to stick her arms out the window in the neighborhood...My advice from my Uncle to me to you is...Your time will come and have them helping you in the garage every chance you get
Randy

[PeteVS]

I stopped by a fellow FordBarner's house one Saturday afternoon a couple of years ago and he had his son (about 4?) sitting on the garage floor with an anvil, a body hammer, ear protection and safety glasses (good stuff) and a piece of 18 gauge sheet steel seeing what would happen to it when he hammered on it. He has high hopes.

[raceron1120]

Congrats on becoming a member of the parent'hood'. Lots of good advice here, and I'd like to add a bit.

In this world of digitized technology, I'd strongly recommend that you take pictures, take pictures, and take MORE pictures! The kids grow so fast and in what seems like a few days, they're grown and gone. I have so very few pics of myself and my brothers and now-deceased sister and also deceased dad especially from the 50s. We have 3 kids and took a lot of pics of them as they grew. But it wasn't enough. . .

Also, get involved with them while they're young. Our son, now 36, was on my lap on the tractor almost before he could walk and enjoyed the plowing, hauling firewood, etc. with me and the old 9N. He was a young-un in the late 70s/early 80s and I still remember us riding in a ratty old orange Pinto at the time - he looked at me and said "Dad, jump the ditch like the Dukes of Hazard!" We still laugh at that one. He now has several pickups in various stages of restoration, along wiht 3 sons and a daughter; his oldest is already climbing into the engine compartment of one of his dad's pickups so he can help.

I think the biggest thing I found to help them get involved is to make it interesting for them. If they get bored they won't stick with ya. I had them crawling into the trunks of old cars to retrieve parts that I 'couldn't reach', or getting a wrench or hammer from the toolbox for me.

But no matter what it is, do it with them.

Here's a pic of our oldest daughter (left) her husband (right) and 3 of our grandsons at an old car & farm equipment show a few years ago. The kids were loving it.